Fall is creeping on slowly. The anticipation of cooler temperatures and the vibrant colors of changing leaves is leaving me imperceptibly anxious. I'm ready for change and Arkansas' subtle slide into another season is not drastic enough for me.

I want to be shattered, shocked, awakened! I feel my senses are dulled. My view of myself, my life... Sigh. I need to be broken, and badly! Fire, healing, renewal, growth, life...

So many thoughts. So many flawed ways of thinking. I just don't know what to do with myself.

I hate job hunting. I always feel inadequate. And it doesn't help that I still, even at 25, don't know what it is that I really want to do, or what it is that I am really and truly passionate about. So many things, so many interests... But what is the one thing I'm ready and willing to commit myself to? I just don't know yet.

I am going to make a list (like so many before) of things I'd like to accomplish in my life. Like to learn to play the guitar, the piano, and the cello; be an artist, using whatever I can get my hands on, to create mixed-media masterpieces, even if they are only ever seen by me; get out of debt; travel. I will be a woman who is comfortable with herself, and confident in who she is [becoming].